this morning, i cleverly inferred that our CEO is in town minutes before i actually saw him

... feeling very Holmesian

this is not the way i imagined coming out of my hole, but it should be written

two nights ago, i dreamt of a man. he stood behind me and wrapped his huge hands around my neck, squeezing until i began to pass out. i don't remember the fear of suffocation.. just the panic of feeling his hands glide into position

I was sad about David Bowie, but Alan Rickman... I don't really have words.
What a terrible loss

RIP

f's long overdue phrase of 2015

[upon passing a large christmas display]
 
f: look at all those little santa clauses inside the big one
i: .. like santa's pregnant?
f: no, it's like he ATE his santalets

**

with that, wishing you all a warm and happy 2016

f's phrase of the week: я ужэ sleeping

from Nicolas Hénin, held hostage by ISIS for 10 months:

Central to their world view is the belief that communities cannot live together with Muslims, and every day their antennae will be tuned towards finding supporting evidence. The pictures from Germany of people welcoming migrants will have been particularly troubling to them. Cohesion, tolerance – it is not what they want to see.

Why France? For many reasons perhaps, but I think they identified my country as a weak link in Europe – as a place where divisions could be sown easily. That’s why, when I am asked how we should respond, I say that we must act responsibly.

And yet more bombs will be our response. I am no apologist for Isis. How could I be? But everything I know tells me this is a mistake. [...]

While we are trying to destroy Isis, what of the 500,000 civilians still living and trapped in Raqqa? What of their safety? What of the very real prospect that by failing to think this through, we turn many of them into extremists? [...] The Syrian people need security or they themselves will turn to groups such as Isis.

i see that marine le pen has already hijacked the situation.

i can't believe.. i can't believe i even have to write such a thing--that the difficult task of keeping our humanity at the hardest, the most painful moments, is the most critical one; the one that should shape everything we do and think

it's beyond words disturbing that in this day and age, when the "muslim world" has so swiftly and firmly condemned the attacks--a world that includes both hamas and hezbollah--european muslims of all nationalities and refugees already ravaged by war have to experience the added fear of retaliation, of closed doors..

thoughts and prayers with the people of paris

The open road was a relief from the isolation I felt in the city and a chance to reflect on the chaos of emotions that is love in Tehran. In the quiet I could listen to my own thoughts and I began to express them. At Kandovan, a village built directly into the mountains, I made a confession, the type you can make only to someone on the road. 

-- bijan roghanchi

this is beautiful--and for some inexplicable reason, that upsets me

f's phrase of the month:

[after assuming that she glanced at me for some reason in my own mind, and after my "sorry"]

no, i didn't even notice. i was wondering if you've now gotten into the habit of saying "sorry" just in case

i'm having trouble identifying what year we're in
constantly second-guessing myself today

harper is finally, finally out.
mazel tov, Canada. well done

god, how perfectly this encapsulates the whole miserable situation
Stabbed Israeli Jew mistaken for Arab criticises violence

... dreamt of tiny pink/green pears, fresh from a tree

while i've experienced the ache of being an ocean apart from a loved one and shared deeply in the girls' grief of living away from a large and connected family all this time, the latter seems to be hitting me now on a very personal level.

i don't know what's different... maybe the fact that i've gotten to know one more member of my wonderful extended family; maybe the fact that your mom and i have had real conversations this year, alone, and because she seemed so much more comfortable with me; maybe the fact that they came at the same time--and the fact that the space of two is so loud in its silence..

... maybe what's different is that when maryam, in tears, asked why we constantly have to make these absurd, impossible choices, giving up our loved ones for more stable, more normal lives, i suddenly felt as if i was making that choice with her..

joss whedon, creator of buffy the vampire slayer, responds to the question, "Why do you write strong female characters?"

Because you're still asking me that question

how i hate the fact that i've gotten to know emma's family through her illness...

too many emotions today.

i think it's quite fitting that i spent the holiest of all holy days on the jewish calendar--not fasting, not praying, not atoning--but comforting, cheering, and caring for a sick relative; that we were able to talk without the incessant interruption of phone calls and neighbours and food deliveries; that my time was spent in quiet contemplation of her decent mood; of the fact that i made her smile

you cannot imagine how much i hate myself for not being with you right now...