What do I need to write right now
How should I write it

... earlier this week, i awoke in an actual sweat from (what felt like) one million dreams:

we spent a long time searching for the cottage we rented--and, when we finally found it, it was a mess. the owners were still around, still tidying up, and one was not in a hurry to leave.

i was a professional football/soccer player in a team of 4. although i was as good as the others, my teammates didn't take me seriously. i never got the ball during practice; nobody even looked at me. the frustration was unbearable...

in the end, after i'd thrown a fit, we all lay down in the grass to watch the clear, blue sky and the passing day

... the moment a literary journal replies to your submission, and your heart stops, and you can't open it right away because at that moment everything is a real-life Schrödinger's cat, and when you finally gather the courage and find yet another rejection

... and you manage, somehow, a weak it's ok, there will be others

The Russian in me trembles when I hear it... this cadence.. this tone.. each word like fallen raindrops..