Yasha, whom i've known almost my whole life.. the kindest, sweetest man who loved to pickle mushrooms.. who always called me инночка.. who was so much Lena's other half

i will remember you as before: in health, in the kitchen, singing with my parents

זיכרונו לברכה
may your memory be blessed
rest in peace, at last

عشق من
happiest (sunday's) birthday

i've been trying, for days, to think of something to say, but nothing feels adequate
your mom is here.. i should be thanking her.. i should be thanking kaave..

but, most of all, i should be thanking you simply for your continued presence in my life.

warmest, happiest, birthday thoughts and wishes

that's it.. i have to stop this.
it's time to start reading again

my current obsessions can be summarized in terms of recent Google searches:

... why is my basil dying?
... what's wrong with my roses?
... why are the leaves of my tomato plant dry/yellow/wilted?

and, the ominous:

... who is eating my tomatoes?

...now that i've revived the basil, the mint has taken a turn for the worse. we had a thriving little industry, in fact, until yesterday, when god-knows-what happened and it all dried up. i didn't think it was possible to kill mint, but i've done it somehow...

i dreamt of a man who seduced women--under false pretenses, and possibly for money. i didn't mind sleeping with him, once i told him to drop the act

... also, of a creature that appeared suddenly, in the dead of winter, to take people away. a bunch of us (who lived in the forest) tried to find a way out of this, but it was unavoidable--we couldn't predict its arrival. i thought we might be safe inside, but you and i felt its presence in what appeared to be a museum. i thought, for a moment, that we might be wrong; that maybe there is nothing to fear...

I'm pleased to be able to speak with/understand my mother-in-law to some moderate extent--I've become quite adept at asking if she would like tea. But the sorry state of my Persian, after all these years, is really quite embarrassing.....she should have come sooner