During a reading of The New Yorker's "Shouts & Murmurs":

F: "I don’t want to worry you, since I know you are having a hard time with weevils..." Darling, what are "weevils"?
Me: Hmm, I don't remember. Maybe a kind of illness?
F: No, "...in your garden."

terror, last night, as i was stalked around my own home by the masked creature from the Scream movies. my alarm woke me as i hid in the shadows, waiting for it to turn around..