f's phrase of the month: he looks like a lesbian

our white christmas came a day late..

four days later i smell winter.. feel it on my face.. in my eyes

"Memorial has been in the lead among the organizations collecting information on human-rights violations committed by Chechen insurgents, Russian military authorities, and the pro-Moscow government. Memorial was a crucial source of information for the journalist Anna Politkovskaya, who published horrifying reports in the Russian opposition newspaper Novaya Gazeta. For her countless articles on torture, illegal detentions, and the reign of terror under Chechnya's ruthless and flagrantly corrupt President, Ramzan Kadyrov, Politkovskaya endured harassment, mock execution, and poisoning. 'You're an enemy, to be shot,' Kadyrov told her, in 2004. Two years later, she was gunned down in Moscow."

-- "The Civil Archipelago" by David Remnick - The New Yorker, Dec 19 & 26 edition

i wept as i read... i've not yet gathered the strength to finish

god that my heart doesn't break from the strain of keeping it together...

a dream that an aged professor - from despair and from grief - plunged into a large crater, never to return.

years later, i returned to the site bearing flowers. as i bent down to place them on the edge, i caught his gaze - pale, uncaring eyes stared through me. he held a book and sat inside the ditch, on top of the large trees with which it was now littered. i asked if he had eaten.. if anyone had been feeding him.

he returned to his book, without a word.

my obvious inexperience was apparent with shots of pomegranate to the eyes, hands and face..