when i was supposed to be the strong one
when sonata told me that she thinks.. she thinks she was prepared; and i thought it was a good idea to sit down for this phone call
when i prayed that she didn't hear my voice shake
when i realized that it was the first lunch hour i need not call
when my manager was shocked at how quickly the burial took place... when i thought it's better this way--isn't waiting somehow heartless; somehow cruel
....
when my mom told me how the death of her father didn't truly hit her until much, much later. when i wished that i had not been so young; that i could remember more than his smile
when i wished, under and around my guilt, that i had been there for my father's parents
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