lay your head where my heart used to be ... you'll never be free of me

the conscious process of letting go--of a thought, an idea, a hope, a person, your understanding of things, your idea of yourself--while sad and uncomfortable and searingly painful, at first, should be empowering.

can i accept the fact that i may never be published? maybe.
will this stop me from writing? no.
if i don't have the talent to edit professionally, will i be ok with doing something else? i have to be.
if i'm not effective in any way--about anything--will i keep trying? probably; i'm a terrible idealist.

will i ever learn to be a calmer, more detached, more graceful person? probably not.
does any of this really matter? probably not.

just live. find a way to live.