i dreamt that i was a police officer in charge of transporting a violent rapist to jail. we went on a cruise ship and holding his hand ensured that he wouldn't escape. twice i let go for a moment, and he ran .. twice i found him.. once, in tears. i learned that he had been repeatedly raped by his father as a child; that when he felt weak or embarrassed, his eyes glazed over with a cold, empty look that i could soothe by putting his head to mine and forcing him to focus until his wits returned

i knew that at some point he would come to understand the terrible things he'd done. i decided that i would help him, when that happened..

you curled around me like a cat.. and i was so thankful for that moment.. my heart nearly broke

my angel.

when i think of you it's of our first year together. i knew you no better.. we were no closer.. we were not, necessarily, happy.... but the memories are good

why are politicians' wives seen as speaking exclusively to the female voter, whereas the politicians themselves are required to address all genders?

uneasy..terribly uneasy..

upset about the lost wallet, keys..but even more so about their lack of return and what it means

i would like to see more written about the emotional, psychological and intellectual benefits of a university education rather than the constant chatter about employment: "Unemployed, Unhappy, and Drowning in Debt"

i miss school. i miss it. i hurt.

i love auditing, but i feel apart from it all; outside of student life.. student experience.. in an irredeemable way

dooneh-the-pooh

f's phrase of the month:

darling..maybe your huffing and puffing is related to your hiccups...your diaphragm is..i don't know..very jewish

i am the only person on earth who can lose a purse full of government IDs, bank cards, and items of sentimental value - yours and mine

if it's not returned, it will be the very first time in all my history of losses

i'm simply.. at a loss for words

...چهار سال پیش

عشق من
گل من

i don't know what to say. i'm simply ashamed of what's happening here...

i want to believe that the conservative government is at fault; that everyone who voted for Harper as a strategic alternative to the fiscally-irresponsible liberals shot him/herself in the foot.. but i know i'm running from the possibility of the liberals having done the same due to a political climate dominated by hypocrites, bullies and opportunists

as with every other move meant to 'isolate oppressive regimes,' this will only hurt ordinary people - iranians wishing to come here, or those already here, for whom it will become infinitely more difficult to visit loved ones... gather official documents... live, in short, with the knowledge that an official route exists

case in point: yesterday, we spent 20 minutes devising various strategies that will allow farzaneh to renew her passport

and on a personal note - i wanted desperately to visit in the next few years.. how can i do that now

we have made a giant leap forward in the isolation and alienation of 100,000 iranian-canadians (those, that is, who still have ties at home; who are here for the freedom of maintaining those ties). and for a country that prides itself on hyphenated identities... this is absolutely ludicrous

lost pet posters are wildly upsetting as it is.. but when the cat looks like dooneh, my heart literally implodes

after weeks and weeks of near-constant tagging i can see nothing but tags.. i tag my waking thoughts after dreams and dreams of extracts, body text, and headings

my love..دلم.. милая
happiest birthday
warmest kisses

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days; 
I fled Him, down the arches of the years; 
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways 
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears 
I hid from Him, and under running laughter. 
Up vistaed hopes I sped; 
And shot, precipitated, 
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears, 
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after. 
But with unhurrying chase, 
And unperturbèd pace, 
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy, 
They beat--and a Voice beat 
More instant than the Feet-- 
'All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.'

-- francis thompson, "the hound of heaven"

how it happens

one day there is an image--or a phrase. usually an image. one day (a week, a month, a year later) there is a phrase to paint the image... the slightest hint of a plan. one day there is more--or less. one day i panic. many days. one day i put it on the shelf. one day i take it off.

one day it's gone... "finished" to the extent that i can think of it no longer.

and the silence is unbearable.

sometimes it's you i miss. but more often than not, i miss the feeling of knowing you in some way... knowing about you, even a little

my thoughts and prayers with all those in Ahar, Heris, Mehraban,Varzaqan, and surrounding areas

.. terribly saddened by every irrelevant and ridiculous argument i'm hearing

just.. send help. send help now, through whomever or whatever means necessary